The Wave
by SF Heinig
Summary: Jerry battles The Wave! What is The Wave you so calmly enquire? Why it is the very kryptonite to our social fabric! Nothing's gettin' past this thing, baby!


It was a later dinner than usual, at the restaurant George had recommended Jerry take his date to. George had claimed to him that he had spotted both Dean Martin and Al Pacino there on two separate occasions. George had gone to eat there a few times with Susan after a theatre show Yes, Susan is still alive here.

Patty's Italian Restaurant had been a favorite haunt of Frank Sinatra's for many many years, and many celeberties and tourist alike had wondered in from time-to-time to try and get a glimpse of _old blue eyes_ himself, chowing down on one of his favorite dishes of clams or veal cutlets. JERRY was on his date with an extraordinarily pretty girl named Renee that George and Susan had introduced him to only recently.

Renee and Jerry had just finished their meals and were both enjoying capuccinos and patiently waiting for dessert tio arrive.

Renee had only been in Manhattan for a short period; she had come from Spain to visit Susan.

Jerry had noticed two things instantly about Renee: 1) her accent needed to be pounded out just like the veal, and 2) her disposition could run from a cool gazpacho to a boiling hot minestrone within a flash.

"You know, I really thought George was joking when he said how much you look like Marisa Tomei." Jerry said before taking a sip of his capuccino.

"Who?" Renee asked

"You know, Marisa Tomei, _My Cousin Vinny, Oscar, The Paper_..."

"She was in _The Paper_?"

"Yeah. I mean it was a smaller role for her, but she was in it." Jerry quickly picked up the signal that Renee was disinterested in either Marisa Tomei or her acting choices. He decided to change the subject. "So, how long have you known Susan?"

"Susan and I have been friends since college. When Susan started dating the fat, bald—"

"Excuse me?"

"George."

"Oh. Continue."

"Any rate, Susan had written me for visit…so _here I am_ as they say in America."

"I heard you're from Spain."

"Yes. I am from beautiful Barcelona."

"You know, I've always been a big fan of Ponce de Leon, the explorer."

"Ponce de Leon?" Renee repeated with a look of disgust.

This Jerry didn't pick up on, he continued.

"You have to give some credit to a guy who puts the time and effort into searching for the _Fountain Of Youth_. The ironic thing is, he discovered Florida, where half the population is either over the age of sixty-five or deceased. My parents live there, and they are not getting any younger."

"I hate _all_ those explorers. They were merely ignorant lap dogs for corrupt autocratic regimes. How can you admire such a filthy cretin?"

"He got the job done?"

"No! No more!" That's when Renee unleashed _THE WAVE_ on Jerry

NOTE: _The Wave_ is a hand gesture where the arm is extended outwards and within inches of the victim's face. Populerized on television talk shows such as Oprah and Jerry Springer.

Renee gave Jerry The Wave! Jerry was caught speechless, as if her hand were a force field of some immeasurable power.

"Let us leave this place at once. I must contact my brother, Bernardo."

"But they haven't brought the cheesecake yet." Jerry said with a smile.

"No! No cheesecake!" Along with the staff, customers began looking at the table too.

"We'll take the check." Jerry whispered to the nearest waiter.

The next day at Jerry's, George and him were wtching the Met's game on television.

"Oh, I forgot to ask, how was your date with Renee? Susan wanted a progress report."

"Interesting…"

"Interesting? Would you care to elaborate?"

"Well it was odd. We were having a lovely time, a great evening. Then towards the end of the date things just went a bit astray."

"Astray? How did they go astray?"

"Not only astray, but decidedly and defensively askew."

"Askew? Astray? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I mean, the international symbol for _don't go there_." Jerry gave George _The Wave_. "I'm telling you George, nothing was getting through this hand. I've never seen such power. Instantanously she transformed from a relatively unassuming tourist into a deflector force field."

"Star Trek."

"Yeah."

"She gave you _the wave_ then too?" George said feeling guilty.

"You knew about _the wave_ and you didn't warn me?"

"She did it to me when Susan and I picked her up from the airport. Right in the middle of baggage. I figured it was an isolated experience."

"There's nothing isolated about_ the wave, _George. Once that hand goes up that mouth goes shut."

"I didn't—" Jerry gave George _the wave _cutting him off in mid sentence. Just then Kramer entered.

"So, how was the date with the lovely _senorita_?" Kramer asked Jerry with a rapid blink of his eyes.

"Not so good." Jerry said with a shrug of his shoulders

"Not so good? What happened?"

George walked to the open door.

"I gotta get going."

"Where are you going?" Jerry said crossing into the kitchen.

"I have to go with Susan and Renee to the airport. We have to pick-up Renee's brother, Bernardo, _the bullfighter_.

"Renee's got a brother who's a bullfighter?" Kramer asked.

"Apparently, he's like some sort of rockstar over ther. He's the Elvis of bullfighting. Renee said women swoon all over him."

"I bet it's those little tight pants." Jerry said.

"Women are crazy for those little tight pants." Kramer added.

"Oh, before I forget, Renee's sister is dropping by later this afternoon."

Jerry was perturbed. "Dropping by here?"

"She was in town for a couple of days and doesn't have time to take her rental car back. She has to leave for Spain tonight, apparently, an old uncle has fallen ill."

"How big is this family? A sister is dropping by, you're picking up her brother. It's like the Spanish Armada has set sail for Manhattan all of a sudden."

"Look, she needs to drop off the rental car keys for Renee. Can you give her the keys at dinner tonight? Geez, you think I was asking you to commit treason." George said as he exited."

"All right, now tell me about the date, what went wrong?" Kramer asked Jerry.

"Well, we were talking about this and that, and I said, how much I admired the Spanish explorer, Ponce de Leon."

"Bimini."

"Huh?"

"Bimini, Jerry. Where there was said to be a spring that restored youth to all that bathed in it. Bimini turned out to be Florida."

"That collection of old encylcopedias that George's dad gave you are really keeping you busy?"

"A blessed fountain of restortive knowledge." Kramer said grinning.

Just then Elaine entered the apartment, in her hand she held a small pink pastery box.

"Anyway, Renee got somewhat hostile at the notion that I found this explorer, or any explorer for that matter, admirable. She also gave me _the_ _wave_."

"_The_ _wave_?" Kramer asked with a mild look of confusion.

"I'm telling you Kramer you haven't got a _wave _on you that could match the physical _wave_ of this girl. Nothing could get pass this thing."

"What are you guys talking about? And who is Renee?" Elaine sat the pink pastry box on the counter, and opened it exposing the delicious cookies which laid inside.

"Oh, she's this old friend of Susan's. Her and George decided to set me up on date with her while she's in town -- things kind of got off to a shaky start."

Kramer stepped forward, he had nuggets of wisdom that he needed to divulge.

"Jerry, you have to understand Spanish women. Spanish women are a very hot, passionate people. They react on a very cathartic level. You've been dating American girls -- you're not equipped to handle someone like her." Kramer caught a whiff of intoxicating aroma produced by the cookies, and began salivating.

"Can I have a cookie?" Kramer asked while reaching into the box.

"Help yourself." Elaine responded.

Kramer took a bite of the cookie.

"Mmmm... coconut."

"Where was George off to in such a hurry?" Elaine inquired.

"He went to the airport to pick up Renee's brother." Jerry answered.

"The _bullfighter_." Kramer added with a wink to Elaine.

"The Bullfighter?" Elaine reiterated with interest.

Kramer grabed a handful of cookies, and immediately, stuffed the tiny joyous sweet wonders into his gullet with a manic delight.

Elaine and Jerry looked on in disgust.

"Kramer!" Elaine resounded.

"What the hell are you doing!" .Jerry implored.

"Sugar Jones." Kramer said through a mouthful spray of crumbs, before exiting the apartment.

"So, tell me about this bullfighter, Jerr." Elaine said with school girl grin.

"There's nothing to tell, I haven't even met the guy. Supposedly, he's the Elvis of bullfighting."

"The Elvis of bullfighting?" Elaine said with a chuckle.

"Yeah. And he's flying in from Madrid tonight. I'm supposed to meet the four of them later for dinner."

"A bullfighter... really?" Elaine said with peaked interest.

"Do you want to join us?"

"Out to dinner?"

"Sure."

"You don't think I'd be imposing?"

"No. Hey, if Renee can invite her brother from Spain, then I can darn well, invite my friend from the Upper West Side of Manhattan."

Elaine smiled again.

"A bullfighter... that's hot."

Meanwhile…George was driving with a very upset Susan and Renee looking for a parking space at the airport.

"George, would you just find a spot and park?" Susan tried to ask as calmly as possible.

"I told you, I'm trying to find a spot that is both equal in distance to both the terminal and baggage pick up area." George said belying the level of irratation and lack of support he was now feeling.

Renee suddenly snapped, "I can't believe how incompetent you are-- We are going to miss my brother, Bernardo!"

"We'll get to your brother Bernardo, trust me."

"And we'll miss him for what? For what? All for the sake of an idiotic search for the perfect parking!"

"It's not an idiotic search." Gheorge stated as clamly as he could.

"Yes, it is. This parking space only exists in that tiny little bald skull of yours.

Even though Susan was mad at George, she even looked a little stunned by Renee's callous remark towards her fiancee.

"Your exploration is futile!" Renee shouted in defiance.

"It's a search that warrants a certain kind of respect for the higher ideal. Rather than dismissing me as a crackpot You should be thanking me for my visionary aspect."

George, its been a long day. If you don't find a space in the next five seconds, Renee and I are getting out and we'll take a cab back into the city."

"George is gettin' upset." George moaned.

"That's it!" Susan opened the car door, as George slamed his foot on the brake, stopping the car with a screeching halt.

"What're you doing?" George implored.

"Getting out!"

"But—"

That's when Susan gave George, _The Wave_! Renee and Susan exited the car.

George shouted out the car window.

"Alright that's mutiny, baby! That _is_ mutiny!"

And at that same moment….Kramer ran into Newman on the street in front of their building.

Hey, Newman,. I wanted to ask you something."

"What's up Kramer?"

"Well, you see Jerry's been dating this Spanish girl—"

"Spanish girl? Really?" Newman said with that familiar Cheshire cat smile.

"I was wondering what the postage would be on a few crates of olive oil shipped from there?"

"Olive oil shipped from Spain?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm sure it would be very expensive. Why?"

Kramer leaned in closer to Newman and dropped his voice to a whisper. "You know, I figure you might have an inside track on a…" Kramer looked around before continuing. "…shall we say, a cheaper delivery route?"

"I may have few connections with UPS employees. What's in it for me though?"

"I'll cut you in on a lot of the shipment. We'll split it eighty-twenty."

"Seventy-thirty. Deal?"

"Done." Kramer and Newman shook on their deal.

"What's so special about this olive oil anyway, Kramer?"

"It's extra, extra, extra virgin olive oil."

"Extra, extra, extra virgin olive oil?" Newman repeated somewhat confused.

"The FDA won't approve it, and the Spanish government denies it's existence, it's been on the international black market since the '50s. It really brings out flavor."

Newman was salavating…."I love flavor..."

A few hours later, up in Jerry's apartment, Elanie entered, dressed in nice casual eveningwear, a black strapless dress. Jerry was in a nice suit and tie. He had the phone in his hand, and he was looking very frustrated.

"So, what's up? We going?" Elaine asked Jerry.

"I don't know... George was suppose to call me from the airport when the plane arrived."

"He hasn't called yet?" Elaine said with disapointment.

"No."

"Well, maybe the flight got delayed?" Elaine said with a bit of hope.

"Yeah, but why wouldn't he have called?"

Back at the airport, George had finally discovered his parking space. Instantly, he is struck with a sense of rapture.

"That's it baby, that _is_ it!"

A heavenly light focused on the parking space as George pulled into the space.

Back at Jerry's apartment, Kramer entered.

"You're still here?"

"We're waiting for George to call." Elaine said with a growing disappointment. She sat bent over the counter, her elbows up and her hands around her face.

"Jerry, you gotta do me a solid."

"Yeah, what kind of solid?" Jerry said somewhat cynically.

"There's this special olive oil that they only sell in Barcelona. All I need is someone to make a buy and bring it their local post office. I'll handle the rest."

"You want me to ask Renee, is what you're saying?"

"Well, yeah."

"What's so special about this olive oil, Kramer?" Elaine asked.

"It really brings out the taste in food. You can't even recognize the food that you've put it on.

"Well then what's the point?" Jerry asked.

"Because whatever it is, it'll taste better.You have not tasted salad, Elaine, until you've tasted it with the extra, extra, extra virgin olive oil from Barcelona."

"Extra, extra, extra virgin olive oil, Kramer?" Elaine repeated with a laugh.

"That's right, sister. So, Jerry, you'll ask?"

"I'll ask." Jerry said with a shrug.

"How much of this olive oil were you planning on getting?" Elaine said with interest.

"Two crates, about twenty bottles to a crate."

"Do you think I could get in on this?"

"Sure. I guess I could cut you in on a few bottles."

"Kramer, what's the name of this stuff, so I know what to tell Renee?"

"Bovary Virgin Olive Oil."

"Bovary Olive Oil?" Jerry repeated as if his ears had been decieving him.

Kramer continued. "It's a very old Spanish family name. My friend Bob Sakamano told me all about it. He discovered it while he was stationed at a US military base near a tiny village right outside Barcelona. He said the old guys in the village would actually bathe in the stuff.

"Bob Sakamano was in the army?" Elaine asked.

"No…" Kramer gave Elaine an odd look.

Jerry reached into the freezer pulling out a Snickers.

"You're eating candy bar before dinner?" Elaine asked rollling her eyes.

"I'm starving, I didn't know there was going to be all this waiting. Do you want one?"

"No thanks…"

"What is that?" Kramer asked.

"It's a frozen Snickers. Do you want one?"

"Sure, you know I've still got that sugar jones."

"What exactly is a sugar jones?" Jerry asked.

"It's the body's way of creating an artificial high through the consumption of sugar, especially, chocolate. My father would go through twelve Zagnut Bars a day before finishing a novel." Elaine stated.

Kramer put the Snicker into his mouth, attempting to get a sizable-bite, but the chewy candy was just too solid, too strong for his jaws. Elaine and Jerry marveled at Kramer's struggle.

"You know, you'd think by now your brain would have sent a signal to your mouth to stop biting." Jerry quipped with a grin.

"I think it's stuck to my cheek." Kramer anxiously mumbled.

Elaine laughed hard. "That's funny, you sound just like the Elephant Man, Kramer."

In fact, Kramer did sound just like the Elphant Man. "Have a dinner." Kramer slurred, trying in vain to swallow the chunk of candy in his mouth.

In the hallway that Kramer and Jerry shared…Kramer happened into Renee's younger sister, Celeste who conviently enough also had a thick Spanish accentl. Unbeknownst to Kramer, a small part of the candy was frozen to the very tip of his tongue.

"Jerry Seinfeld's apartment?" Celeste said in that measured way someone does when crossing the language barrier.

"Renee?" Kramer said with finger point to Celeste.

"No, no, I am Renee's younger sister, Celeste. Are you Jerry Seinfeld?"

"No, Kwamer." Kramer and Celeste shook hands. Kramer now realized that talking was now going to be somewhat of a trifle for him until the candy melted.

"Kwamer? Is that an african name?" Celeste asked.

"No. Kwaaamer." Kramer tried hard to enunciate, but all this did was just lenthen the vowel sound. Kramer's tongue flicked out spastically.

"Oh my god, what is that on the end of your tongue? You poor man..." Celeste enquired with great empathy.

Meanwhile at JFK airport…Susan and Renee were waiting...George entered the terminal's lobby where Bernardo the Bullfighter would hopefully soon be arriving at.

"You guys are still waiting? What happened to the flight?" George said to Susan and Renee.

"It was delayed." Susan said with a grimace.

"Okay, let me go call, Jerry."

Susan got up from her seat and grabed George by the arm, pulling him just out of earshot of Renee.

"George."

"Yeah?"

"George, can you try _really_ hard not to embarrass me for the rest of the evening?"

"I'm embarrassing you? How am I embarrasing you?"

"George, please just try. Okay?"

"All right." George said with a relaxed shrug of his shoulders. "I'm going to go call, Jerry."

At that very next moment at Jerry's…the phone rang.

"Hello?" Jerry said with more than a little desperation in his voice. "George, where the hell are you? I've been waiting two hours. You know, we're never going to make our reservation at the restaurant."

"I'm sorry, but the flight got delayed." George took in a breath. "Susan's upset."

"How about Renee?" Jerry said with hope.

"Yup, her too."

"Well now, I don't even know if I want to go." Jerry said.

"You can't back out now. Susan's liable to strangle me in the parking garage. She already went balistic once. She gave me _the wave_."

"Keep your pants on, George. I'll go." Elaine waved to Jerry.

"O' George, can Elaine go?"

"Elaine? Why does she want to go?"

"She wants to meet Renee's brother."

"Alright, bring her. Just get to the restaurant. I think the flight just landed."

"Okay, bye." Jerry hung up the phone.

"So, can I go?" Elaine asked, just as there was a knock at the door.

"You're in."

"Great, now I'm starving." Jerry opened the front door to find Celeste standing there.

"Excuse me, are you Jerry Seinfeld?" Celeste asked with a slightly insecure smile.

"Yes, you must be Renee's sister,

"I am, Celeste."

"Come in." Celeste entered Jerry's apartment.

"I apologize for visiting unannounced." Celeste spotted Elaine in the kitchen. "Hello."

"Hi. I'm Elaine." Elaine said smiling and shking Celeste's hand.

"I'm very glad to meet you both."

"Will you be joining us for dinner, Celeste?" Elaine asked.

"No, I can not. I must fly back to Spain tonight --which reminds me Jerry…" Celeste opend her purse and pulled out a set of car keys. "…the keys for Renee." If you could give them to her, I'd be very grateful."

"Sure, no problem." Jerry said taking the keys from her.

"Celeste, have you ever heard of an extra, extra, extra virgin olive oil from Spain called Bovary Olive Oil?" Elaine asked.

"Heard of it? I grew up on it as a small child in Barcelona. Why do you ask?"

"Well our friend, Kramer—"

"Kramer? Oh, the poor man with the terrible speech impediment who lives across the hall?"

"Yes, that's right." Elaine said with a light chuckle.

"What is so funny? It is not very kind to snicker behind the backs of the disabled."

"Oh no - I wasn't – it's just that Kramer wanted to get this stuff so bad and--"

"Really? Bovary?"

"Yep. It would bring so much joy to him, could you get it for him?" Elaine asked.

"How many bottles does he desire?"

"About forty."

"George told me you're flying the Concord back to Spain."

"Yes, and ironically, I should be over the Atlantic at the very same time as my brother, Bernardo."

"Do they have that little bag of peanuts on the Concord too?" Jerry asked in wonderment.

At the airport… the flight Renee, George and Susan had been waiting patiently for was finally at the gate and disembarking.

Renee quickly spotted her brother in the throng of passengers and called to him. "Bernardo!" Renee and Bernardo embraced.

"Susan, George this is my beloved brother, Bernardo."

"Hello, I am Bernardo, but please call me -- _The_ _Matador_!"

George quietly mumbled to himself. "Did he just say... _The Matador_?"

"Why, Renee, I am surprised you did not tell me how beautiful your friend Susan was..." The Matador dropped to his knee and kissed Susan's hand.

"Oh, why thank you -- Matador." Susan said blushingly, while George looked as if he is going to be sick.

"Okay, we should get this show on the road if we want to meet Jerry and Elaine for dinner."

"Who is this Elaine you speak of, George?" The Matador said with a swipe of his finger over his moustache.

"She's a friend of mine and Jerry's. You guys don't mind if she joins us, do you?"

The Matador quickly spoke up, cutting off any possible protest from Renee or Susan. "No, not at all, George. In fact, her name intrigues me. I'm much looking forward to meeting her."

"Wait, don't we have to pick up your baggage?"

"There is no need, all that I have is within this bag that I carry. Come, Renee, let us go break bread with our American friends. Too bad Celeste will not beable to join us."

"Who?" George asked.

Meanwhile back in Spain… Jocko, an old friend of both Celeste and her sister, was loading crates onto a produce truck. Jocko was an older man of considerable girth and build.

Celeste entered the back-alley.

"Jocko, how have you been?"

"Why, Celeste, it is good to see you with these very old eyes. What can Jocko do for you?"

"There is this man named Kramer who lives far away in America and I wish to help him. I have great pity for him. When he speaks, he sounds like, the Elephant Man."

"The Elephant Man? I love The Elephant Man! Jocko cries everytime Jocko watch it -- I will help this Kramer. What must Jocko do?"

"His wish is for Bovary Olive Oil."

"This Kramer will have his olive oil. Jocko gives his word!" Jocko bellowed.

At that same moment back in America, on the Upper West Side of Manhattan…Newman bumps into Kramer. Kramer's voice was now back to normal…

"You know I told Elaine we'd cut her in on a few bottles of Bovary."

"Why did you tell her that?"

"I figured we were getting so much—"

"Kramer, I already told the guys at UPS they could have some. You don't cross those guys, Kramer!"

"Well, that's your problem, Majumbo."

"No, it's your problem because you cut her in."

"It's not even a problem!"

"Well then the deal's off."

"You can't kill a deal in mid-transaction. We already shook on it!"

"I certainly can, and I will."

"Well, fine! The deal's off!"

"Good! The deal's off!"

That's when Kramer unleashed his _wave_ upon Newman.

"AHHHHH!" Kramer screamed in a war-like manner. Newman then came back with a _wave_ of his own.

"AHHHHH!" Newman yelled back in defiance aqt Kramer.The force of the two _waves_ upon contact repeled both Kramer and Newman back from each other. It was a _wave_ stalemate!

Meanwhile at the restaurant…The Matador was in the middle of a fantastic bullfighting anecdote. Elaine, Susan, and Renee were spellbound by the vivid tale of bravery, while George and Jerry couldn't have been less enthusiased.

"So, there I was -- looking the great bull in the face. My red cape like a torn rag before me. Steam was shooting from the bull's flared nostrils, then my heart skipped a beat, and all I could hear were the screams and roars from the crowd. I did not have my spear, nor my sword. They were both buried deep within the bloody hide of the beast. Then my vision became blurred, as my own blood and sweat dripped into my eyes. The blazing sun of Madrid was hot above me, and it only helped to turn the dust drier in my throat. Now, the bull started to stroke its powerful hoof on the ground before me... I could sense it was about to charge, then another cry came from the crowd. I turned and looked down, and like a miracle from the Saints, my second sword lay on the ground beneath my feet. I had been standing on it the entire time!"

"How?" Elaine said enraptured by the tale, wine and charisma at the table.

The Matador continued… "I do not know. Although, sometimes in battle, many swords and spears are stuck into the bull, and as the bull becomes more enraged the massive hide will expand, causing the weapons to pop out prematurely."

"So what did you do?" Elaine said flustered.

"I knew as soon as I moved the bull would be upon me. I could envision its mighty horns goring my flesh. My only hope was to stare him down. His eyes grew large, as did mine. Me, beast, me, beast, me, beast, and then I lunged for my sword! I grabbed it and pierced the bull straight through the heart. It was truly, magnificent."

Susan, Renee, and Elaine are visibly entranced by the bravery of the Matador.

"I'll tell you what's magnificent, Silly Putty. I was using it just yesterday on an Andy Capp comic strip. I still don't know how that stuff works!" Jerry said with a laugh.

"Silly Putty, Jerry?" Elaine said witha scowl before turning back to The Matador. "Matador, I was wondering if you'd care to join me for a drink later." She said with a broad smile.

"Why, Elaine, I would love to join you. Come, let us be off into the night." The Matador exclaimed! "Renee, I will call you later…"

The matador took his cape and bundled up Elaine in it, before the exited the restaurant.

"Well, that was nice of Elaine." Susan said.

"Yeah." George smirked.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Renee said, glaring at George.

"What was _what_ supposed to mean?" George asked taken aback.

"That _yeah_…" Renee glowered to him.

"Nothing. I think it's very nice that they're going out for drinks, a regular fiesta."

The waiter brought the check, Jerry grabbed it. "I'll get this."

"So, what is it you are implying, George?" Renee snapped.

"Nothing. Why should I be implying anything?"

"George…" Susan groaned.

"What? What am I saying? I'm just saitting here minding my own business. Jerry am I saying anything?" George said defensively.

"George, I wouldn't.." Jerry moaned.

"What you don't think Bernardo is good enough for your friend, Elaine, huh!" Renee snapped again.

"I don't believe this, I didn't say that, nor di I imply it in any way shape or form!"

"No, but you were thinking it, in that tiny little bald head of yours! Weren't you!"

"You know something, sweet heart, I have been belittled, ridiculed, and picked on all week by you…"

"George, _please_." Susan begged.

"And for what? Acting as your personal taxi service while you trot around town like you're the Princess of Barcelona? Well, no more free rides, baby! If you want to get around, you take public transportation just like everyone else in the city!

"George…" Jerry pleaded.

"And another thing, you are so lucky you look like Marisa Tomei, because no other lady could ever get away with the attitude you've been sportin' around town!"

That's when Renee gave George the wave. "Enough! Jerry, take me home!"

Renee stormed from the table and the restaurant.

"Well, that was a lovely end to an evening."

"Thanks for not embarrassing me, George. I really appreciate it."

George was silent.

Later at Jerry's door to his apartment, he and Renee are kissing.

"Oh completely forget, your sister Celeste dropped by with the car keys. Let me give them to you before I forget again."Jerry opened the door to his apartment.

"What the -- Kramer!" Jerry shouted.

Kramer was on Jerry's couch toking on a stogy. Hundreds of crates of Bovary Olive Oil were stacked all-over Jerry's apartment.

"Jerry! Compliments of Celeste. I struck the motherlode this time, buddy."

"Bovary Olive Oil? This is my favorite, Jerry. How did you know?" Renee said blithely.

"Uh..." Jerry stammered.

"Jerry, this is like a room full of roses to me." Renee said placing her hand to her heart.

"Ye-ah!" Kramer said wiggling his eyebrows with exuberance.

The following day…Jerry, George, and Kramer are at Shea Stadium enjoying a Mets' game. Jerry and George are in one of their typical discussions…

"I'm telling you, Jerry, _the wave_ should be outlawed. _The wave_ instantly eliminates any opportunity for a fair, reasonable debate of issues."

"So what you're saying is, strong legislation banning _the wave_ should be brought to the attention of United States Congress?"

"Exactly. _The wave_ should not be allowed in any non-public or public discourse of actions thereof. So, what are you planning to do with all that olive oil?"

"I don't know, Kramer says he knows some people he could sell it to. Some soup kitchen or something."

"Hey, heads up guys... Here comes the wave!

Everyone in the stands rose for the _sports_ wave.

That same following day…Elaine and the Matador had slept in, at Elaine's apartment…

"Elaine, what a beautiful country your America is, but soon I am sad to say, I must take leave."

"At least we can enjoy the weekend, right?"

"Yes, we will enjoy the weekend." The Matador turned over and kissed Elaine. Elaine smiled.

"Would you excuse me, Matador? I think I may need to get another sponge."

"Why of course, Elaine." Elaine exited to the bathroom, just as the phone rang on the nighttable next to the bed.

The Matador picked up the phone. "Hello? Yes, yes I see. Very well. I will tell her." The Matador hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Elaine called out from the bathroom.

"Elaine, who is _The_ _Maestro_?


End file.
